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If You Love Me, Don't Love Me: Undoing Reciprocal Double Binds and Other Methods of Change in Couple and Family Therapy, by Mony Elkaim
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This work presents clinical examples to reveal a fresh understanding of the therapist's feelings within the content of treatment. At the heart of Elkaim's technique is self-reference. He demonstrates how therapists can use their own experiences as powerful tools of intervention. Elkaim also shows how to work with crippling reciprocal double binds, when, for example, someone wants to be loved but pushes his loved ones away out of fear that love is followed by loss. The book should be of use to anyone who works with couples or families.
- Sales Rank: #1682233 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Jason Aronson, Inc.
- Published on: 1997-06-01
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.16" h x .58" w x 6.46" l, .61 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 256 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
Language Notes
Text: English (translation)
Original Language: French
From the Back Cover
This book presents unusually dramatic clinical examples to reveal a new understanding of the therapist's feelings within the context of treatment. He demonstrates how therapists can use their own experiences as powerful tools of intervention.
Most helpful customer reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
fabulous text
By Nikolay Karkov
This is to my knowledge the only translated text of book-length by French family therapist Mony Elkaim. and I would add, unfortunately so, as it is an amazing and extremely rich work, important both in its theoretical implications and in its purely practical side. Elkaim was a close friend of Guattari's, through whom I came across his name (Guattari mentions him in his Three Ecologies). in fact, the final chapter of the book is a roundtable discussion between Elkaim, Guattari, Stengers, and Prigogine, on the relations between the natural sciences, analysis and the social.
roughly, Elkaim's theories can be traced to the work of precisely the chemist Prigogine, Chilean biologists Varela and Maturana, and Felix Guattari. from Guattari he borrows concepts such as assemblages, resonance, and others; from the other three, ideas of self-references and self-organizing systems. just as in nature matter exhibits an enormous capacity of self-organization, i.e. the attainment of internal consistency without transcendental models, so also Elkaim, in his work, is trying to unblock desiring impasses in the self-referencial relationship between therapist and families. at stake here is not the attainment of truth, but the opening up of new possibilities, often for the therapist also. and even if language is the primary mode of communication, it functions not so much through the elaboration of meaning, but rather by creating ruptures in established significations and codified modes of behavior. in other words, by creating a-signifying breaks, as Guattari would say.
the text is highly original and at the same time accessible, and can shed additional light both on non-traditional methods of theorization (bridging the gap between the human and the natural sciences) and of practical work (opting for experimental meta-modelization, rather than for dogmatic models). also, in contrast to Guattari, where one rarely finds practical cases of treatment, at least in teh English translations, Elkaim's book provides a dozen of these, with consequent theoretical elaborations.
overall, a highly recommendable book!
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
A first class book on couples therapy
By Carlos S
This book never caught the attention due to its weird title, but is a solid systemic therapy book by one of the most important European FT teachers .
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
and Im happy with it contents
By claudissima
I was looking for this book, and Im happy with it contents, the book came in a very good condition, and the text is very impressive!
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